


Poisonous Memories

by YetAnother



Series: Obsessive Memories [2]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Body Worship, Gentle Sex, Light Bondage, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Singed also makes a small appearance but it doesn't matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-02-18 19:35:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13107066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YetAnother/pseuds/YetAnother
Summary: Kassadin can't get over the past or over Malzahar, so while Malzahar is asleep, Kassadin is the one who dreams.





	1. Play Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> For those wondering, you don't have to read the other in the collection to understand this one.  
> Though it is briefly mentioned like twice.

Kassadin breathes heavily as he stares at the unconscious man laying on his bed. After the... erm, incident in Shurima, he just can't get the mage out of his mind. All he can think about is how he wants to be inside Malzahar again.

Which leads him to where he is now. Inside his private room at the Institute, with a drugged Malzahar laying on his bed. The prophet is still fully dressed, but Kassadin is naked except for his mask.

Kassadin shakily reaches forward and pulls Malzahar's hood back, revealing the pretty face he once loved. The black hair now ruffled by Malzahar's always present hood. Long eyelashes that cover now glowing eyes. The once soft cheeks now gaunt from self-neglect. Sweet-looking lips that used to whisper 'I love you.' but now only ramble cultish nonsense. The sun-kissed skin that beckons for Kassadin's touch.

Kassadin reaches out and caresses Malzahar's face. If he really wanted to, he could pretend that everything was back to normal, back to how it was years ago. Malzahar was just sleeping, and when Kassadin wakes him he'll smile and kiss Kassadin.

So he pretends.

He slowly strips Malzahar of his clothes, treasuring each and every inch of flesh revealed. Kassadin is already hard, he's been waiting too long for this moment. Still, he restrains himself.

He wants to make the most of this time.

Kassadin takes a deep breath and takes off his mask. He can't keep it off too long normally, but with Malzahar nearby and breathing out the void-tinted air he needs he should be able to keep it off for a while. The idea of surviving off of his ex-lover's breath makes his heart pound so hard it's almost painful.

Kassadin takes Malzahar's left hand and brings it up to his mouth. He gently kisses each finger, then the palm, the back of his hand, and starts trailing kisses down Malzahar's arm. In his mind he hears the words Malzahar would've said, what he used to say, all those years ago.

'You're so sweet, Kass.' The mental Malzahar says. 'I love this gentle side of you.'

"And I love every part of you." Kassadin murmurs into Malzahar's neck as he kisses it gently, responding to the man of his memories. He nips at Malzahar's chin then kisses him, at first just a soft press of the lips, but soon pressing needily.

The lack of any kind of response makes Kassadin's heart sink. He breaks away and stares down at the peaceful face below him. 'He's just sleeping.' Kassadin thinks, but his heart still hurts.

Kassadin moves down to Malzahar's collar bone, licking at it and sucking just hard enough to leave little love marks. He always loved leaving marks on Malzahar, claiming him as his own, though now the man belonged to the Void, and no amount of marks could ever change that.

Kassadin shakes the dark thoughts out of his own mind. Malzahar belongs to him, they're in love, the Void is nothing but a myth. Maybe if he repeats it enough in his mind it'll come true.

Kassadin moves downward on Malzahar's body, to the light brown, perky nipples that have always been so sensitive. He takes one into his mouth and freezes when the man under him whimpers quietly. He looks back up at Malzahar's face to see him still passed out. For a brief moment Kassadin wonders if Malzahar still thinks of him in his dreams.

He really hopes so.

He refocuses his attention on the nipple in his mouth, gently licking at it and sucking. Occasionally Malzahar lets out a quiet groan that goes straight to Kassadin's heart (and crotch). Once he thinks he's shown the first one enough love, he moves to the second one. When Kassadin bites down just slightly, Malzahar's back arches so beautifully that it leaves Kassadin breathless.

He never appreciated Malzahar's beauty enough all those years ago. If he could go back in time, he'd slap his younger self.

Actually, he'd probably try to save the both of them from the Void's corrupting presence, but right now is not the time to be thinking about that.

Kassadin clears his mind again and kisses down Malzahar's chest, down to his stomach, dipping his tongue into Malzahar's belly button for just a quick second, a gesture that would always make the mage laugh, and then even further downwards. He avoids Malzahar's cock, as much as it pains him to do so. Instead he kisses Malzahar's inner left thigh, the skin so soft and warm against his lips.

He'd do anything to live between Malzahar's thighs again. Even drugging the poor prophet. He shakes that thought out of his mind, he needs to stop thinking like that, he can't ruin this perfect moment.

His lips trail down Malzahar's left leg, his tongue tracing a scar that runs down Malzahar's shin. He remembers that scar, an accident involving a knife and uneven footing that had Kassadin apologizing for weeks. He always assured Malzahar that he looked just fine with the scar, but the prophet had never worn shorts again afterwards, despite the heat of the desert.

"I'm sorry." Kassadin apologizes for the wound again.

Kassadin moves to the sole of Malzahar's left foot, kissing it and then each of Malzahar's toes. Then he sets the left leg down and picks up the right, repeating the process in reverse until he is back up at Malzahar's right thigh.

Finally, he can get to the part he wants the most.

Kassadin grabs Malzahar's soft dick and puts it in his mouth, sucking and licking at it until it starts to harden. Once it's hard enough to start bobbing up and down, he reaches over and grabs the lube he left nearby.

Last time was pretty rough, but he'll be better this time.

Kassadin lubes up his fingers and reaches down to Malzahar's ass. His fingers easily find the same hole they had fingered for years and one starts to gently rub at it, until the puckered hole allows it inside. Malzahar shifts slightly in noticeable discomfort, but Kassadin doesn't stop. He slides his finger out and in until he figures he can put in a second one, then he's scissoring his fingers, trying to stretch Malzahar so that it'll be more pleasant this time.

It's obvious that it's been a while since Malzahar had been properly fingered, he's tight and his walls seem slow to stretch. Kassadin keeps at it though, he did not come this far to get impatient during this part.

Once Malzahar seems stretched, and his cock is almost throbbing in Kassadin's mouth, Kassadin pulls away. The unconscious man huffs lightly, making his displeasure known.

"Don't worry, Malz. We're just getting to the best part." Kassadin says as he positions himself on top of Malzahar. His eyes roam Malzahar's body and then stick to the man's face, so peaceful and serene.

'He's just asleep.' Kassadin thinks.

Kassadin starts pushing in slowly, moaning at the slick heat enveloping his cock. It's better than he remembers, better than he's fantasized about late at night, alone in his bed. Malzahar sighs, but doesn't look hurt.

Once fully inside, Kassadin starts a slow, loving pace. He has one hand on Malzahar's hip, holding him steady, and the other carding through the prophet's hair. He leans down, pressing his chest flush against Malzahar's, to get as much contact as possible. He kisses Malzahar again, no longer caring that the man is not kissing back.

It's so, so perfect.

The hand holding Malzahar's hip moves to his cock instead, stroking it in time with the slow thrusts. Malzahar is panting quietly in between Kassadin's kisses, still completely knocked out.

Kassadin cums with a quiet groan, pulling out in time to paint Malzahar's lower half white. He'd rather cum inside, but it'll already be hard enough work to clean up Malzahar without trying to get his cum out of the prophet.

Kassadin continues stroking Malzahar until the prophet is also cumming, his body shivering and his voice croaking out a low moan. Kassadin stands above him for a minute, just looking over what he's done.

He leans down and kisses Malzahar one last time before he puts on his mask. Then he's reaching over and grabbing a towel to clean up Malzahar. After the prophet is cleaned, he dresses both of them and then throws Malzahar over his shoulder and carries him away.

He dumps the unconscious champion in the Institute's nearly empty library and rushes out. He's only made it a few steps away when he bumps into Singed.

"Oh, hello Kassadin." The poison-maker greets. "How did that sleeping draught I give you work?"

Kassadin sweats slightly, nervous. "It worked like a charm. Actually, I was just going to ask you for more. I also had a special request, if you didn't mind."

Singed laughs, loud and dark. "I always take requests."

 


	2. Memories Aren't Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Untested drugs and violent love are given to Malzahar.

"So this one is the sleeping draught, reworked to cause a short period of sleep and then weakness once awake." Singed hands Kassadin a small vial. "This one is an aphrodisiac." Another small vial. "And here is my crowning achievement. They told me memory retrieval was only possible by spellcasters, well I'll take any chance I get to spit in the face of spellcasters!"

As a spellcaster, Kassadin chooses to stay silent and just take the vial.

"At least, that's what it should do. It's not tested, so tell me how it works!" Singed chuckles. "Though please, spare me any... explicit details."

Kassadin just nods, shame keeping him from speaking. This was all too fucked up. He hadn't even told Singed what this was all for, never asked for an aphrodisiac, yet somehow the chemist knew. Just how easy was it for the other champions to see how awful Kassadin really was?

Kassadin sighs and heads out to find Malzahar. Shame won't keep him from what he's about to do.

 

Malzahar's eyes blink, bleary and unseeing, as he tries to regain sight. It's hard, for some reason, like he's stuck halfway in the void, but there is no purple clouding his vision. There's a presence near him, one that seems both hostile and needy. He tries to shake his head back and forth, but his movements are slow, sluggish. He tries to bring his hands up, but can't move them at all. There's something around his wrists, keeping them together behind his back.

Malzahar squirms a bit, feeling the softness of bed sheets against his skin. He comes to the conclusion that he's naked on a bed, but he doesn't know where. The area around him looks unfamiliar, but maybe that's just his blurred vision.

"Are you waking up?" Comes a voice that is very familiar, Malzahar swears he knows who that is. A figure appears in his vision, and it's humanoid. Can't be a void creature. "Malz, can you hear me?"

"W-where-" Malzahar coughs, his throat is so dry for some reason. A glass of liquid is held up to his lips. It looks clear, like water, but there's an unusual smell to it. He drinks, anyways. It tastes off, but he feels better now. His vision is clearing.

Kassadin moves the glass away, and just stands over Malzahar, waiting for the prophet to remember him. It was pretty easy to get him to drink the memory potion, but who knows what it'll actually do. Malzahar continues to blink rapidly as he squirms. Eventually, the glow to his eyes disappears and his whole body slumps. After a few seconds, he slowly lifts his head and his now clear eyes scan the room.

They stop on Kassadin, and Malzahar has a fearful expression that stabs Kassadin right through the heart.

"G-get away from me..." Malzahar says, trying and failing to move away from Kassadin. "Did you... tie me up?" His words are slow, slightly slurred from the drugs in his system. "Why are you... why..." His head rolls to the side and he takes a deep breath. "I thought you loved me." He whispers.

Kassadin puts a hand onto Malzahar's shoulder, and the man tries to recoil from the touch, but Kassadin keeps a steady hold. "Don't you remember anything, Malz? I do love you." It seems like Malzahar at least remembers they were together now, but why is he so afraid? Kassadin looks a bit different, sure, but with the mask off he almost looks normal.

"Then why did you rape me?" Malzahar glares at Kassadin, trying to look strong with tears in the corners of his eyes. "Why can't I... Why can't I remember anything after that?"

Kassadin's eyes widen as he takes a step away. That would definitely explain what's wrong. Malzahar remembers everything from his moments of clarity, including that awful incident in the desert. Now even with the old memories, Malzahar still doesn't want him.

Kassadin reaches over to where he left the glass and picks up the last vial. He didn't think he'd need it, he thought Malzahar would be willing and cooperative in this state, but now he's glad to have the aphrodisiac. He pulls out the cork stopper and grabs Malzahar's chin.

"You'll feel better after drinking this." Kassadin says as he forces Malzahar to drink. The prophet puts up a weak fight, but drinks the liquid. It's sweet and lightly cherry scented.

As Kassadin puts the vial to the side with the rest, Malzahar wriggles, a warm feeling enveloping him. His slow, steady breaths turn to pants and his mind becomes cloudy. Kassadin looms over him, watching him, and the stare feels as hot as the burning desert sun. Malzahar whines and tries to wriggle towards Kassadin.

He just wants to be touched.

Kassadin complies, reaching down and stroking Malzahar's face. Malzahar hums gratefully and rubs his face against the hand." D-don't make me wait, Kass." Malzahar says. "I need you in me." His voice is slurring even more, and his eyes look hazy and drugged. It doesn't bother Kassadin that much, at least he's enthusiastic about this now.

Kassadin pulls away to lube up his fingers and then starts to finger Malzahar. Malzahar groans and rocks against the fingers, trying to speed up the pace. "Don't-don't need that..." He says, trying to look down and watch but his eyes are unfocused, unseeing. "Just need you... Just need you..."

Kassadin is quick to oblige, standing and lubing up his cock. He pushes into his lover a bit quicker than may be smart, but it doesn't seem to bother him. Malzahar is moaning loudly as he's filled, panting when it's all in.

Then, he's laughing. Small chuckles at first, then soon a loud, spiteful cackle. Kassadin watches as one of his lover's eyes starts glowing again, light enough that Kassadin can still see the expression in the eye beneath. He looks angry. Focused. Sharp.

"So this is-" Malzahar starts, interrupting himself with panting and a low whine as Kassadin starts moving his hips. "This is how the famed hero of Runeterra plans to break my spirit?" The echo in his voice fades in and out every few words.

Kassadin's hips slow as he considers what to do. Malzahar's legs wrap around his waist and pull him out of his thoughts and further into Malzahar. "I didn't say..." Malzahar has to pause to pant some more. "To stop."

Kassadin continues to thrust into Malzahar, the legs wrapped around him encouraging him. Kassadin leans down to kiss him, and Malzahar responds eagerly, licking at his lips to try to deepen the kiss. Kassadin groans as Malzahar sucks his tongue into his mouth, but recoils in pain when Malzahar suddenly bites it.

Malzahar laughs again, but soon the laughter turns into gasps and moans as Kassadin pounds into him harder. "Y-you call me the monster, w-when you..." Malzahar can't complete the insult, his mind fuzzy from pleasure and drugs. "Harder..." He begs, using his legs to pull tighter against Kassadin. "Deeper..." He tries to angle his hips to let Kassadin further into him. "Th-the void did a better job of defiling me." He taunts.

Kassadin growls at the insult and pulls out. He flips over the mouthy prophet and shoves back in. One hand grabs the ropes binding Malzahar's wrists together, while the other pushes his face into the mattress, silencing him. Only muffled moaning can be heard from the prophet now, as he wriggles to try and get some friction on his cock, which is now pressed onto the bed.

When Kassadin hears the way Malzahar whimpers, he lets go of the man's head to reach down and start stroking him. Malzahar turns his head so the half of his face with the glowing eye is up, looking at Kassadin, as he pants.

"Please cum inside me, Kass." He begs. "I'm all yours..." He repeats the phrase "All yours." with the occasional "All theirs." thrown in as Kassadin obeys and cums inside of him.

Malzahar whines as Kassadin pulls out of him. "If you're going to do this, at least let me cum too." He tries to sound angry, but his voice is rough and needy.

Kassadin flips his lover over and jerks him off, quick and rough, just trying to get this over with. The drugs were only a half-success, and somehow it's worse than if they had just not worked at all. The shame and guilt mounting up in Kassadin make him want to just run away, but he should at least allow some form of relief to the mage.

Malzahar cums with a choked sound that might be Kassadin's name. Kassadin sits on the bed next to him, lost in his own thoughts as Malzahar comes down from the high. "U-untie me." He demands, still breathing heavily.

"Are you going to kill me?" Kassadin asks, reaching over to sit Malzahar up.

"I don't think I have the energy to." Malzahar responds, and is soon untied. He rubs at his wrists and looks Kassadin in the eyes. His own are still only half glowing, but his voice has regained its echo. "I don't know why you did this. The drugs, the rope, the rape..." He pauses for a moment before reaching towards Kassadin's face uncertainly. "The tears." He wipes tears out of the corners of Kassadin's eyes, ones that Kassadin hadn't even noticed building.

He's silent, waiting for some kind of answer, but when it doesn't come he continues talking. "I don't know if it's the drugs or the sins on my own record, but I'm not... Mad." He sways on his feet as he stands, not fully in control of his motor functions. "Actually, maybe it's because I can see the torment in your eyes, or maybe these... Weird half-memories in my head..." He starts dressing himself. "Maybe it's because I enjoyed it... This time..." He rubs at his forehead as though he had a headache. "I don't know. It hurts to think about."

Kassadin does nothing but watch as the man he both hates and loves most in all of Runeterra redresses himself. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't even really know who's talking. It seems like current Malzahar, but it's too nice, too calm.

As Malzahar finishes redressing and starts to leave, Kassadin finally finds his voice. "I love you." He says, hoping to reach the man he lost.

Malzahar stands there, hand on the doorknob, silent for a few seconds. "You've chosen a terrible person to love, and an even worse way to show it." He says, then his voice dips to a whisper, the echo gone. "I can't love you anymore, not after what you did."

Then Malzahar walks out of the door, and out of Kassadin's life once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Kassadin lost the love of somebody who only existed in memories. I didn't mean for it to get that sad.

**Author's Note:**

> This one is dedicated to you, guy who had a shameful fap to my last Kass/Malz.  
> I'm so sorry there's so little of this ship you had to fap to that travesty.  
> I put way more effort into this one, so hopefully it's less shameful now, or maybe it's still shameful because it's still rape. Idk.  
> Cheers, bro.


End file.
